Looking back over this past year feels more like a few years have passed and I should be much older than I am.
My sister-mother almost died a couple times last April and spent three months in the hospital. My world revolved around her recovery until September 26th. It was then that we lost most everything we own, car included, to hurricane Helene.
Never have I prayed harder for peace, courage, consolation, wisdom, clarity, guidance… And God gave it all to me, when I was forced to trust Him enough.
Why do we have to be forced, though? Why do we have to have devastation and ruin before we ask Him to lead us, sincerely and wholeheartedly.
Sure, we pray and ask for guidance and wisdom but do we really want it enough to dive into His Word? Because if we don’t we won’t get the answers. That’s how He talks to us. He won’t spoon-feed us. We have to do it His way…the best way, by seeking in His Word.
I mean, look what happened with the Israelites wandering in the desert for forty years. You don’t think there was supposed to be a lesson or two in all of that? They could have reached their destination in a week or so if I remember correctly. Only they were too thick-headed, stubborn, and whiney.
When we ask God for guidance do we really listen for it? Or are we just giving Him lip service? Because if we’re not in the Word we won’t find the answers too often. We need to do our part.
If not for this beautiful habit I developed five years ago, of reading/listening/studying the whole Bible in a year, every year, I’m not sure how I would have survived this past year at all. Without listening daily to God’s Word, and really falling in love with Jesus, unabashedly, I would still be floundering to keep my head above water.
Don’t get me wrong. I still flounder. Always a work in progress. Key word there being ‘progress. ‘ With a contrite and sincere heart I am a follower of Christ, good, bad, and otherwise. And I continue to make progress. Rather than treading water I am only knee deep most of the time!
I shared the video below on Facebook yesterday. And it’s been such a very long time since I’ve posted anything here that I felt compelled to try going back to normal – meaning pre-hurricane Helene.
I was working on a book and had five chapters done when that lady hit our little city. Why have I allowed a major catastrophe to alter my course? Because dealing with FEMA and emergency housing is a full-time job! And because I still have hurricane brain, and can’t put one thought in front of another anymore.
This chapter of our lives has been an amazing eye-opener to things I’ve never had to deal with in my sixty-nine years on the planet. And God has provided every single need since the night we had to trudge through three feet of water to higher ground where friends could pick us up and get us out.
We spent that next week in our wet house with shop vacs and fans running constantly. We had power, running water, internet, and our bed was dry. I filed claims, waited for adjusters, and applied for FEMA. I peeled apart wet photos and paperwork when I should’ve been packing up my belongings so we could move out, but I was in shock and total denial.
Our church family came to our rescue the day after the storm and again that weekend, to dry us out, pull out sheetrock and flooring, and pack us up. Then we had to leave, the smell was so bad. We went to the local Microtel, but had to leave after two nights to allow for first responders to stay. There was another storm coming right our way. We didn’t even know that. Hurricane brain.
There was no emergency housing yet, and suddenly I realized I couldn’t be here for another hurricane. I panicked. Where would we go? It dawned on me my daughter was out of country on business for two weeks, so we went to her apartment in Miami Beach.
Milton hit two days after we left and destroyed what Helene didn’t in our tiny little duplex by the river, in our peaceful little neighborhood, and historic little city.
I didn’t want to come back. When we did it was like a war zone, and all I could think was, “imagine how people that live in war-torn countries have to face this devastation, only worse! every single day of their lives.”
We stayed with a dear friend for our first month back, then in a Springhill Suites hotel for three months, courtesy of the Florida Department of Emergency Management. FEMA finally awarded rental assistance. We found a temporary furnished rental on a highway. What we salvaged is in storage.
It turns out our field adjuster postponed filing our final claim to the insurance company until late January so we are very far behind where we should be right now. Don’t ask.
Our first insurance check came two weeks ago. (Early March). Our contractor just delivered a dumpster a few days ago. How funny that I’m excited to see a dumpster in my yard!
If it was up to us we would sell as is and go away. That’s just not an option, though. Nobody is buying in a flood zone these days. We can’t take a huge loss and have nothing to start over with. Not at this age.
The insurance claim process, the mortgage forbearance, FEMA paperwork, and applying for a Disaster SBA loan has been a bigger nightmare than the night of that first flood. I can understand why people give up on all the red tape and redundant submission of paperwork. But I can’t!! The rental side of our duplex is what paid our mortgage so we are stuck repairing so we can resume renting until we can sell. And we need a place to live!!
Moral of the story?
Don’t buy a house in a flood zone that depends on rental income to sustain it when you’re sixty years old and a blue collar retiree that has to carry a mortgage. Not a good plan.
That’s not really the moral of the story. It goes more like this:
God is more interested in our character than our comfort. And He allows things to happen that will challenge us to the brink of what we feel is disaster. Oftentimes it is disaster! But He is faithful to walk us through it when we trust Him to, when we ask for His wisdom and seek His will. It’s as simple as that. He provides a way.
And so I seek His face every day. I don’t know how else to survive anymore. I ask for His forgiveness every time I’m abrasive and impatient and downright spewing anger at one more piece of paperwork I have to scan and email. One more hoop to jump through. One more stumbling block. How does He put up with me and my temper
Wanna know what I gave up for lent?
The F-bomb. Not even kidding. Lemme tell ya…it has not been easy at all. Oh my …
Honestly, in the big picture, I have nothing to complain about. I’ve been a spoiled homeless person since September 26th, 2024. And it truly boggles my mind how much we take for granted. Most of all, though, the joy of being in God’s Word and able to feel His presence when we draw close to Him.
Spending that first year having the Bible read and taught to me back in 2021 was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my Abba Father. This habit has sustained me over and over again and I will never stop listening and learning.
Just this week we heard the story of Balak and Balaam in Numbers, and I heard something I never noticed before this morning. Which leads me to dive a little deeper, because there’s something in there God needs me to know today, obviously, or it wouldn’t have peaked my interest that way.
One year really does change everything. I hope you will take a peek at my Bible dude’s website or app. I love his voice, his narrating skills, and the way he unravels God’s Word for me.
Please listen to the ten minute interview with Brian Hardin, founder of Daily Audio Bible.
Here is what I shared with my FBF’s yesterday. Enjoy and Peace in Christ on this Sunday in March, 2025 💜☮️✝️✡️
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This ten minute video will introduce you to the man who reads the Bible to me every morning. I hope you will listen.
He has a gift for bringing the Bible to life with his narrating skills. He teaches and writes and has created community around what he has dubbed “the global campfire” 🔥 with his Daily Audio Bible podcast.
Raised in the church, the son of a pastor, and a Christian music producer, Brian Hardin decided he needed to add a little depth to the faith he grew up with, and so he read the Bible cover to cover for the first time.
And it changed everything for him.
That’s what birthed the podcast. He wanted to share that experience. And he has, for twenty years now!
Here’s the bonus…
After the readings and commentary you get to hear some info from Brian, then you hear people calling in to pray, praise, and lament. The community that has evolved over the past 20 years is real!
Whether your life is perfect or a mess,or anything in between, you will find camaraderie and comfort listening. Some days you won’t be able to listen for the heartbreak 💔 🤷🏻♀️
You will be blown away if you ever call in asking for prayer and you hear people answer you a week later.
I wept when it happened to me three years ago.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, on opposite sides of the country and the globe, praying for ME… 🥹
Wow.
God is so good.
He wants you to WANT to know Him. You can do that just listening to this gifted Christ-follower read God’s Word to you every day for 20 minutes. In one year you will have heard the whole story of God and His people. (That’s YOU, btw)
You will want to hear it again, too. And when you do, you will hear things you missed the first time.
And again and again…
Blessings and Peace in Christ
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God Loves Bad Girls, Too! 