If you could make a list of all the attributes of your perfect friend, what would it look like?
This is the question asked in my reading yesterday. And it didn’t take me long to make the list. As I continued reading these are the author’s words that really poked me though;
“The thing about relationships though, (whether it’s friendship or a romantic one), is that you actually don’t win when you search for the ‘perfect’ person. You win when you become the type of person you’re looking for.”
So this is a cue for you to take a step in becoming the kind of friend you want in your life
Wow, what a concept! Simple but powerful.
How honest are you with yourself about the person that you are and how you treat your friends and loved ones? Do YOU like you? Would you want to be friends with you? Married to you? Trapped in the same house on lockdown with you?
Did you make the list?
Here’s a few suggestions on how to be that friend you would love to have.
No gossip allowed. This is something many of us really struggle to stop doing, because EVERYONE does it! We don’t even think about it being a bad thing! What does it even mean to gossip? It’s not just talking about the bad stuff, like most of us believe. It’s talking about anyone at all when they are not there saying things you would not say to their face. So the bottom line, like the author says, “Focus on being one-faced.” Practice not saying anything about anyone that you wouldn’t say to their face.
Be a peacemaker. Rather than add fuel to the fire be the one to give others the benefit of the doubt and don’t spread rumors. Get the facts. Learn diplomacy. Learn that revenge is not sweet, it only keeps wounds open and raw and infected. This goes along with ‘turning the other cheek’, which, by the way, simply means to leave it in God’s hands to take revenge if/when it is due. You are not the judge and jury.
Help someone in need. This is a no-brainer. Next time you become aware that a friend needs someone to take action, be the one to do it rather than waiting to see if someone else will step in. Give that homeless person you see on the park bench every day ten bucks now and then. Speak a kind word to them. Ask them if they know Jesus! What a conversation starter that is!! Good or bad, it gets people talking…and thinking. Just because you bothered to talk to them.
So when you do sit down to spend time in the Word and something pokes you, that’s His Holy Spirit doing His job. If you don’t believe me, just try it! Pick a place away from others and quiet yourself before you begin. Simply say, “God, what is it you want to teach me today? Please send your Holy Spirit to illuminate my mind, prick my heart, and open my ears to hear what you have to say to me.” And He will enlighten you IF you ask earnestly and you expect an answer.
And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.
We cannot go to God with an attitude, challenging His existence or His love for us. If you really want to know Him, drop your fists, let go of the reins, put your pride up on the shelf, and let Him love you.
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Peace in Christ on this Labor Day weekend in 2021. God Bless us all.